Dear Eliza,
It has been quite a week. I am having more good days than bad days, but when I have a bad day its bad. I'm having one of those bad days today. I miss you terribly bad today. I see other pregnant women and I get so angry. I see other moms with their babies and I just want to scream. There is nothing that bothers me more than listening to a mom or expectant mom complain about their child or pregnancy. I would do anything to have you here with me, keeping me up all night. I would give anything to be nauseous, tired, and have you kicking me in the ribs. I am just struggling today. I just want to cuddle down under the covers and stay there forever. I just don't want to deal with life today.
I am trying to make some decisions about my life. I feel really lost today. I just don't know if I'm where I'm supposed to be in my life right now. I know that I am in the right place with school, but my job just doesn't feel right. I was staying at my current job when I was carrying you. It was perfect I was going to be able to have you with me at work everyday. Now that you are gone Ellie, nothing makes sense anymore. I feel like I'm not myself anymore.
I think about you everyday my sweet Ellie. I love you so much my precious girl
Forever and Ever
Mommy
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